Adventures of a Nobody

             I know that this entry should be in the movie reviews section but I insist to put it in here because what I will write isn’t exactly a review, it’s more of a whining and finger-pointing entry.

            I recently watched the movie Eragon.  I was determined not to watch the movie since I already had a feeling that it would be a let-down but I had a sudden lapse of judgment and I found myself inside the movie house watching a seriously uninspired movie.

            The movie was based on a popular fantasy book of the same title.  The book will have three installments so that the publishers can juice as much money as they can from this ‘Inheritance Trilogy’ trash.  I first saw the book a few years ago when I was browsing for a book to buy.  Fortunately, I decided against the purchase of the book and I ended up buying the first book of the Dark Tower series which happens to be a superior work of fiction.

            Let me give you a run-down of the story.  This won’t really be a spoiler since the plot of the movie is rather predictable and unexciting.

            A young farm boy (yes, he’s a farm boy of all possible professions) who happens to be a brave hunter who tracks game in a dreaded forest where all other hunters never dare to enter finds a shiny (ooohh… me want shiny stone) which was transported by this lady elf who was being pursued by a sorcerer.  The shiny stone (give me shiny stone!) turns out to be a dragon egg.  The egg hatches and out comes a cute big-eyed baby dragon.  The EVIL king’s (shudder) dark rider wannabes kills our hero’s uncle because they felt it would be dramatic to kill a poorly developed character.

The plot unravels as the mighty-hunter-farm-boy-who turns out to be the chosen one meets a retired dragon rider and is trained by him ala-Obi and Luke.  The protagonist then does all the things a hero should do: learn how to fight and use magic, save the damsel in distress, surpass his master, team up with the resistance army, fight and kill some orc-wannabes, and finally defeat the EVIL sorcerer who tortured the pretty lady.

The movie was lame.  I thought that it could have been a case of poor interpretation in the part of the director so I decided to find myself a copy of the book.  I didn’t want to spend money for an equally uninspired book so I connected to the internet and found myself a working torrent of Eragon.  I immediately started reading the book.  The language was all right but the characters both minor and major talked too identically that you wouldn’t recognize who was talking if you removed the qualifying phrase  It painfully felt like reading fan fiction.  It’s not that fan fiction is bad but it just isn’t publishable material.  I’m not a masochist so I stopped torturing myself by the time I finished the sixth chapter.

I wondered if I was the only person who hated the book so I searched the internet again for book reviews.  It turns out that there is a website dedicated to criticisms against the Inheritance trilogy (and it’s author).  Interestingly, there are more people who like the book than those who don’t.  Probably the ten-year-olds who have read only five books (sorry for the insult).  I mean what’s the creativity in naming a hero Eragon (Aragorn anyone?) while an elf-lady is called Arya (Arwen obviously).  It’s probably just me being the conspiracy theorist but I really feel that these characters were flat cardboard copies of great fantasy characters.

This has become rather lengthy entry.  I could write a twenty-page essay of why I not only hate Eragon but also consider it the most unisnspired popular fiction but that would probable bore you.  If you want to read more comprehensive reviews on Eragon (for reasons I wouldn’t know), I’d recommend www.shurtugal.com and www.anti-shurtugal.com.

My advice is for you not to read the Inheritance trilogy.  Not only will you save money but you will also protect yourself from a very bad case of shamelessly over-hyped pop fiction.  Go buy yourself a Tagalog romance pocketbook, chances are it will be more original and entertaining.